Down by da beach, boii

Stock photo. I forgot my camera at home.
So, Gregor and I took a long weekend to spend a few days down south in the Caribbean. Gorgeous weather, beautiful sand beaches, salty sea water, ample people-watching and a visit to Chadley made the trip complete.


Twenty things I took away from the trip:

1. Black women love Carlton, and subsequently, Gregor. White people think that Carlton is MLK Jr.
2. Cruises attract more foreigners than you think. We heard at least a dozen different languages in three days.
3. If you go on a cruise, get a window or a porthole in your room. Mirrors are sufficient in tricking you into thinking you're in a bigger room than you are, but they don't make good substitutes for real light, so you don't know what time it is when you wake up.
4. Stingrays are scary motherfuckers.
5. I can't wait for summer.
6. While napping on the beach, move magazines and other reading materials away from you. Heat and sweat make the ink stick to your face like a temporary tattoo if you fall asleep on them. Oops.
7. 1 nautical knot = 1.8 km. (1 mi = 2.2 km)
8. Small children speaking a different language is pretty much the most adorable thing ever. Especially Italian or French.
9. I discovered my new profession: Haggling. (At the Straw Market in Nassau)
10. People watching is the best lazy sport ever, especially with Foster's oil cans and Stella Artois.
11. The more European, the smaller the swimsuit. (Dudes, too. Especially dudes.)
12. Made of Honour is probably the most terrible movie ever made.
13. Just because a chicken "club" sandwich is $24 doesn't mean it tastes amazing. Or actually has bacon on it. Rich bastards.
14. No one in Florida knows how to drive. NO ONE. Maybe it's because 92 percent of them are talking on cell phones at any given time.
15. Said driving made me become an increasingly aggressive driver. By that I mean white knuckled and swearing at everyone.
16. "All you can eat" really means all you can eat.
17. You'll have sea legs for at least 24 hours after getting off the boat.
18. Drug dealers in Nassau will try to sell to anyone by discreetly announcing "need some ganj... weed?" while they pass you on the street.
19. Cougars love wearing hot pink and singing along to classic rock covers.
20. No matter what the guy looks like, the chick he's with is always hot. We think it's cuz their European, or rich. Or both.

And... Coco loco, yummy yummy!