In like a lion, out like a lamb

There’s light at the end of the tunnel. Finally! When the calendar hits March, the days start getting longer (March 14 = daylight savings), the temperatures get warmer (March 20 = first day of spring).

This weekend, I’m looking forward to the temperatures hitting the mid-40s. That’s right – above freezing. We haven’t seen that kind of heat wave since November.

The big plans on my list? Going for my long run. Outside.

I decided to keep with the running, and signed up for another spring half marathon. I chose to run the Door County Half Marathon on May 1. Since January, I’ve been training indoors on a treadmill at the gym. Let me tell you, they’re a necessary evil; but, treadmills SUCK.

Gregor and I just moved to our new place in January, so I’m not too familiar with the area yet. On my first outdoor run, I can’t wait to investigate and explore the good trails, find out which routes have sidewalks, check out the scenery, and figure out how to avoid the terrifying traffic on Mequon Road.

Some like it hot

...but I DON'T.

Since summer started (which starts mid-May for me, since the conditioning of summer vacation for 20 years of my life), Mother Nature has maintained a pretty pleasant temperature. A few showers here and there, a couple humid days in between. All in all, I can't complain. Until now.

Last week, meteorologists explained we'd be reaching the mid- to upper-80s. That's great for all you central air folk, and perpetual beach junkies; but what about us full-time cube dwellers? We're forced to wear business casual -- Or, here, jeans, as compensation for all the economy business causing us to get pay cuts and lose our 401K matching).

No problem. They've got AC, you say? That's right. I'll deal with walking to and from the car. nbd.



BUTWAITDERSMORE.

It's not so much going to work that bugs me. In fact, I don't mind because I'm getting paid to sit in air conditioning all day. The problem is, when I have to head home.

As mentioned before, most of you know I live in an upper unit apartment in a very, very old house. Without air conditioning.

Last year, I bit the bullet and bought a cheap AC unit, to use when Lucifer decides to vacation in SE Wisconsin a few times each summer. It's been a godsend.

Problem is, the heat started Monday morning ... and I didn't get a chance to set up the unit until Monday afternoon. I cranked it on high until going to bed, hoping it'd at least cool my bedroom a few degrees. The thing rattles like someone beat it with a sledgehammer, so I decided to turn it off before falling asleep.

Terrible, terrible idea.

I woke up at least three times, drenched in sweat. Then I got out of bed in the morning pissed off at the world for being so EFFING HOT. I didn't want coffee. I didn't want eggs. I didn't want anything having anything to do with warm. I didn't even want to shower unless the water felt like icicles.

Tuesday: I go to work, come home and turn the AC on. I put up a sheet between my kitchen and living room.

The cold air comes from my bedroom, and some will make it into the living room; but in order to cool my kitchen, it would have to go through the living room and front hallway first. That's a lost cause, making my bathroom and kitchen unbearably hot. For some reason, all of the heat from the day is not only trapped in that insulated box of a room, the oven/stove puts out some kind of ridiculous heat from the pilot light. (I checked repeatedly, all the knobs are set to "off." And yeah, it's probably not safe.) Yesterday my kitchen and bathroom sat at about a balmy 120 degrees. I'm not exaggerating.

Anywho, I stick to the BR and living room as my main areas. Don't get me wrong, it's still about 75-80, but some of the humidity gets eaten up with the cold air.

I slept with the AC on all night. The rattling didn't even bother me, because I knew my internal body temperature wasn't rising above 100 degrees. In fact, after awhile the rattling turned into white noise, and seemed to lull me to sleep.

Another great thing? I don't pay for electricity. That means the AC can run without any financial consequences. Of course, I still limit use to days when the dew point matches the temperature, and the temperature's above 80 degrees.

Down to brass tacks

Making small talk is not my forte.

Once I get to know you, We might engage in thoughtful conversation -- maybe even joke around. Heck, we might even become good friends. But especially being a stronger introvert, I need to find some common ground with you, and get to know you first.

My professional career, however, involves talking to people I don't necessarily care to. So what the hell am I supposed to talk about...

The biggest conversation starter?

Weather.

Everyone sees it, and it's always different. Plus, it won't start any controversial discussions.

Some categories are naturally out of my league because I'm female (I'm not sexist, I'm frank); especially in a 40-something, male-dominated industry. Topics I usually avoid include: sports, hunting, politics and loose women.

I can sometimes discuss wine or food, but I'm no real aficionado. And, in-season, I might get by with a few comments about the Brewers or Packers -- but no lengthy discussions.

Sometimes I'll mention family -- but I don't have a husband or kids to compare stories and compete with, like every single other person. (Don't get me wrong. I DON'T WANT those stories. I'm almost 25, not 40.)

When I go to trade shows, I generally read up on whatever locale I might be headed to. This includes the local food, historical sites and keeping an ear out for interesting things happening in the news at the time. A huge topic was the Presidential election when I was in Vegas last month -- making a big exception to my previously stated rules.

It's a little easier on the phone. I worked in a call center for two years before my current job, so I learned how strike up brief conversations based on where the other person called from, like "Oh yeah, California? I hear those forest fires are getting a little wild." Or, "Wow, I heard some parts of Colorado got two feet of snow. Crazy!" But that's IT.

Now when I call a PR company, or someone to interview for a story, I try to make the introduction as quick as possible. After that, I tell them why I'm calling -- Send me a high-res image of your neat new product, or tell me about your magnificent tool box.

Driving my ice box

Judging by yesterday's blog, you probably think I'm content, sitting in holiday bliss with a hot cup of nog and some Manheim Steamroller on the radio.

Not so ... because it's FUCKING cold outside.

I headed out to my car around 5:30 this morning to head to the gym. I made sure to put on a hat and gloves, because I heard the temperature was dropping overnight.

I sat in my car as it warmed up. The hat and gloves were NOT enough. My fingers froze, my nose ran, my body shivered...

I looked at my car clock and thermometer. 9 degrees. NINE degrees?

Now, I can handle the mid-30s. I'll even deal with a meager 25 degrees, on occasion. But 9?

That's a single digit. I can count that number on my fingers. I thought, "There are more holy commandments than the weather is warm right now. WTF am I doing outside?"

On top of that, my windshield was completely iced over. I wasn't about to wait 15 more minutes, cutting my workout down to a measly 45. So what do I do? Crank the heat, turn on the defrost and GO.

I drove halfway there with my head ducked and aligned with the middle console, so I could peak out the center of the windshield, where the ice melted.

I made it and didn't die.

And it's only December.

Rules of the road

It's that time of year again, when drivers get into their vehicles thinking it's 72 degrees and sunny. Perfect weather for a drive.

But wait a tick -- it's snowing, windy and 20 degrees.

Let me tell you something. It isn't a great day for a drive. In fact, it's downright terrible. So stop driving like it's the middle of the summer.

Another pet peeve of mine involves drivers who don't understand the rules of the road. Just because you have your driver's license doesn't mean it's your way, or the highway. (Very pun-y.)

Here are a few reminders I think drivers should follow, particularly during inclement weather.

1. Wear a seatbelt. Personally, I don't believe people should be ticketed for this offence. You're just putting yourself in danger. But it might just save your life.

2. Don't talk on your cell phone. I'm guilty of this on occasion, although I avoid at all costs, talking or texting when it's raining or snowing. If you really have to use your phone, get in the right lane, or pull over.

3. Use your blinker when you're turning or passing someone. This is especially important when you have three or more lanes of highway to drive on. I can't read your mind, give me some visuals.

4. I SAY -- slow the fuck down. Generally, I enjoy going about 10 mph over the speed limit. Not so if the weather sucks. I'm all for defensive driving, but I can only control my own car. Don't put my life in jeopardy by driving like a maniac.

5. Do NOT tailgate. The reason I slowed down was to avoid an accident and make sure I could maintain control of my vehicle, not so you could ride my ass. You hinder my ability to drive safely by touching bumpers and making sure your pearly whites are right in my FUCKING REAR VIEW MIRROR.

6. Don't tap your brakes incessantly. I can see the traffic ahead of you. You have eight car lengths of freedom. Don't make me white-knuckled and nervous every time the car in front of you hits the brakes. First take your foot of the gas and coast. It might also help you avoid swerving all over the place.

7. The left lane is for faster moving traffic. Although it's not a law, every time I drive longer distances, I come across at least two dozen assholes who don't know how to share the road with other drivers. The left lane is a passing lane. It should be used only in the event that the car in front of you is going slower than you. In which case -- use your blinker, move over, pass and go BACK TO THE RIGHT LANE.

Autumn atmosphere

It's that time again.

When you drive to work in the morning cranking the heat because it's 40 degrees outside, but by the afternoon you have your sleeves rolled up and the windows rolled down.

Kids go back to school. Days get shorter. Thunderstorms start with cold rain and continue with three-day overcast skies. Leaves start to change color. Sweatshirts and jeans become a permanent weekend wardrobe. The onset of hibernation begins. And I love it.

It's the season that smells best.

Now, there's nothing wrong with fired up charcoal and fresh cut grass -- but by the time September comes around, I'm grilled out and my allergies have already got the best of me.

There's nothing better than the smell of crunchy leaves and dirt. Or, the smell of my clothes after being outside near campfires or in north winds.

I can't wait for October, when Neil Young's "Harvest" won't leave my CD player, and the colors really change and start to peak.