Many of you who know me in person, know I have a tendency to drop a few eff-bombs here and there, On occasion, I'll sprinkle my conversation with synonyms for feces, Hades and, err, dammit. But I love love love dropping eff-bombs.
These verbal onslaughts are okay in front of friends; but mixed company sometimes doesn't appreciate my colorful vocabulary. This is especially true if I'm around kids at a Brewer game, or hanging out at the zoo. So lately I've been trying to incorporate some more unique verbiage in place of swearing all over the place.
Generally, I try to replace any f*ck with "eff." As in, "EFFFFFFF, I just deleted file full of pictures on my computer."
Besides substituting that word, here's what else I've got so far:
GODDAMMIT = God... bless it.
WHATTHEFUCK = For crying out loud; what the what?! (Thanks Liz Lemon.); Really.
FUCKME = Oh dear; You gotta be strokin' me.
SHUTTHEFUCKUP = OMG; Shut the front door.
Any others?
6 comments:
I also have a dirty pirate hooker mouth, blame it on church school. You may have heard Jesse and I use this one frequently in our "early years":
Jesus Christ = Cheese and Rice!
I may have to use the "what the what" now. That's a good one.
No, swear or shut the fuck up. Now, that's a motto you can live by.
I find that swearing has much more of an impact if it's rarely used. Of course, if you're talking to people that don't know you it doesn't much matter either way.
Not that I'm really the most talkative person anyway.
OMG, Shut the front door. hahahha.
I've heard Cheese and Rice ... but if I'm not gonna take the Lord's name in vain, I'm partial to the Spanish pronunciation: Jesus Christo (Hey-soos Kree-stow). That might be blasphemy too though? Oh well.
What the french, Toast?
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