Here comes the sun

I was intrigued by Menace's post about near death experiences, but I thought I'd address my initial blog idea I thought of this morning instead. (Wait til next week.)

Every morning for the past month, I've been a perpetual snooze button pusher. I'm usually pretty good about getting up around 5:30 to head to the gym. Or at the very least, getting up around 6:45 to begin the normal morning routine. But I've been getting out of bed later, and later, and later. That means, instead of hitting snooze once or twice, I roll out of bed around 7:10, 7:15. I've even reset the clock to jolt me awake, again, around 7:30 AM.

I blame the dark sky.

Why in the hell would my body think it's time to wake up, if the sun ITSELF isn't even out of bed. There aren't any birds chirping to wake me up. No morning runners. No construction. Nothing. It's silent... and it's dark.


This weekend, we'll set our clocks back an hour. That means one more hour of sleep. It also means another hour of sunlight in the morning. Hopefully, that also means returning to a somewhat normal schedule.

Maybe then I'll be able to roll out of bed.

I don't want to hibernate all winter.


Did you know? Arizona and Hawaii are the only U.S. states that don't participate in daylight savings. Indiana just started turning it's clock back this year.

What's up Doc?

So I finally became a big kid. It's been high school since I actually had all of my doctor's appointments in order, on an annual basis for checkups... but now I'm completing the trifecta on my own for the first time. (And, with my own insurance!)


I went to the optometrist to update my prescription and get new contacts last month. I visited the doctor for the annual check-up earlier this week. And now, come November 20, I'll be getting X-rays and a thorough cleaning of my pearly whites.

Now I've made an appointment for a tooth cleaning. When I was younger I saw a toof specialist at least once a month, namely for the bothersome task of getting my braces tightened. Ouch is right. But since high school -- sans a toothache that required an emergency visit senior year at college -- I haven't seen a dentist.

I'm excited to say that I'm taking care of myself. Being an adult sometimes sucks. I have bills to pay, things to clean, schedules to maintain, time to exercise, eat right, free time to find, taxes to avoid, hurdles to climb, family and friends to visit, money to make (which consequently means keeping a steady job), novels to write, etc.

But just looking at one thing at a time, like this little victory, makes me feel like I'm on the right track.



Did I mention this health business gets pricey? yikes.

Damn it feels good...

...to be a gangster.

So last night, I taught myself how to tie a Windsor knot.

As part of the up-and-coming bourgeoisie, I realized I better start acting the part.

Not really. I'm almost certain I've determined my costume; now I just need to prepare. That involves being able to tie my own ties, dammit. So, I looked up some instructional "how to" videos.

I'm not a dude, but this shit was tough. Even after YouTube videos, and about three websites with different illustrations, I had trouble figuring it out.

Then, I realized I'm left-handed... and everything I try to do should be opposite.

I'm pretty sure it'll take me about 30 seconds now, with assistance from a diagram.

Soon it'll be cake.

Night terrors

Last night, I lost track of time and ended up going to bed around midnight. My neighbor/co-worker/friend, Lisa, was in Milwaukee for the night, so I was left to my own defenses as the sole occupant of the upstairs of my extremely creepy, 70-year-old house.

I probably would've been fine if I didn't know she was gone... and I slept fine all last week while she traveled. But for some reason, every noise scared the piss out of me.

I'm not sure if it's because Halloween's so close, I might syke myself out more... but I swear there was someone, or something, in my house.

I sleep with a fan on, to avoid dead noise. Plus, it's good at lulling me to sleep. I make sure all my doors are locked and windows closed. Sometimes, I even check closets if I'm feeling particularly vulnerable.

But last night I kept hearing noises. The steam-pipe vents kept clicking, and anytime a large truck went over the pothole in the front of my house, the windows shook. I even kept my bedside lamp on for a little while but the shadow of myself, kept scaring, myself.

I would let my thoughts drift off to the day, work, things to do... but they kept coming back to the fact that I was by myself in my house. With all these strange noises.

I'm not sure if I was more afraid of an actual intruder, or some supernatural creature that might attack me if I let my defenses down in slumberland.

I finally fell asleep around 1 AM, after getting up twice to turn on my lights to make sure nothing weird was going down.

That also meant hitting snooze an additional three times this morning and getting up at 7:30 AM. Oops.

Arbitrary entertainment

It's Friday, and I don't much feel like thinking... so I've provided a few links to enjoy. Happy weekend!


Carve a pumpkin
Pros: Less messy than the real thing.
Cons: No seeds to bake.

Garfield minus Garfield
Jon Arbuckle is fucking crazy.

Virtual Haircut
You need headphones for this.

Best of Craigslist
If you're bored... find out what other people are giving away, or bitching about.

Animal farm

I have inadvertently become the cat (and dog) lady. The good news is, the pets don't have to stay in my house.

At the beginning of the week, I agreed to cat-sit for my neighbor, Lisa, while she's traveling to Louisville for work. Really, it involves going into her apartment, feeding and giving water to Maybelline and petting her for approximately three minutes.

I've helped out before, and it's not tough.


But then my friend Em asked if I could let out their pug, Lil Dutchie, today. I've never met the dog, and she's just a puppy. Plus, dogs are usually a little more work -- with a wider range of potential disasters (e.g. it running away). Apparently, she's pretty well-behaved, and Em left out a leash in case.

The biggest issue? Remembering that I actually have to take care of them. So, I've put the tasks on my to-do list, added it to my Outlook calendar, and my phone. I should be good.

It reminds me that I've wanted my own dog for awhile (like a chocolate lab or a beagle.)

My family always had pets growing up, so I've been around them my whole life.

But for all practical purposes, that's not possible right now. I don't have much space, I live upstairs, and I'm at my apartment maybe an hour a day, usually after 8 PM... plus, I'm usually gone on weekends. Plus, I travel about once a month for work.

The heat is on (on the street)

(I had to watch Glenn Frey's video because this song's been in my head all day.)

I live in a house built somewhere between 1900 and 1930. I have wood floors, a farmer sink in the kitchen, a claw foot tub in the bathroom and glass windows above the doorways between rooms.

I also have steam pipe radiators for heat, and the neighbor lady has complete control of when they get turned on.

So, for the past two weeks, when temperatures have dipped well below comfort levels for any normal human beings sleeping conditions, I've been stuck with three blankets, wearing long-sleeved shirts and sweatpants to bed. I cocoon.

Granted, the single-paned windows account for a lack of insulation and obvious drafts (I don't pay for heat or electric, so NBD), but I'd at least like some control of when I can warm myself up.

Plus, it's a bitch getting out of bed in the morning once my body heat warmed up all the blankets, and I can almost see my breath when I try to get out from under the covers.

Once the initial switch is turned on (thanks neighbor lady), I have some control over how much heat comes out of those pipes... but I could probably open a window if it came to that.

List this.

Welcome to my brain's filing system. Because I have the most terrible memory in the world, and because the human brain's short-term memory only has the capacity to remember seven things at one time; I have become a connoisseur, and big fan of, lists.

If it's not a series of items in a row on one sheet of paper, having a dozen Post-It notes scattered all over my calendar or on my monitor helps me cope with the chaos that is life.

The most important of these lists is the "to do" list. On any given day, I'll compile at least two, if not six different lists to stay organized.

This might include items listed that need lists. Like my current one:

- Bills (cable, Discover card, rent, cell phone)
- Halloween costume? (Debbie Harry, 1920s ganster, Leeloo Dallas multipass)
- call muni office to VOTE
- Steve Martin letter
- check on Maybe baby (my neighbor's cat)
- start Entourage

And a work list:

- Nov. BTB
- New Prod.
- Dec. PD Driving Sales
- Nov. musts
- Oct. PTEN BASE check off

I have a "NO" list on my calendar too, of companies we've shunned from the publication I work on:

- NO SNAP-ON FOR MDN
- NO RINGERS 10/20/08
- NO MilleR ElectRic

When I go shopping, I'll compose a list of groceries to buy. This becomes a hodgepodge of different inks and penmanships, because it's continuously growing until the next store stop.

- olive oil
- oatmeal
- walnuts
- Nilla wafers
- bananas
- pizza rolls

I have a notebook by my desk dedicated to writing lists. I'll use acronyms, poor spelling and no punctuation. I've made lists of CDs to borrow, clothes to buy, movies to watch, and things to pack on trips (!).

The only problem really, is that I keep making new ones... instead of adding to the others. Maybe that's why I still can't remember anything.

Peanut butter jelly time

After a conversation about Reese's Pieces today, it got me thinking about peanut M&Ms. Now... alone, peanut M&Ms are about the best candy around. But, dip them in peanut butter -- and imagine a flavor explosion in your mouth. (That's what she said.)


Right now, I have five jars of PB, total. Two at work, and three at home. (Except, one's actually Almond Butter... ALSO fantastic.) I go through about a jar a month. Plus, it has an excellent shelf-life.

Pretty much anything with peanut butter is amazing. Personally, I'm partial to crunchy PB; along with the creaminess, there's a great texture. MMM.


So, what other crazy combinations do I enjoy?

-- About a year ago, I discovered jelly wasn't so terrible on PB sandwiches. (I didn't used to like it.) Also a staple to anyone poor enough to not buy meats and cheeses all the time.

-- For some extra texture, throw some potato chips or Doritos onto that PB&J sandwich.

-- Ever heard of Nutella? Europeans love it. It's like peanut butter, only made out of hazelnuts... try mixing them together on most anything.

-- A hybrid form of those cheese crackers you buy at gas stations, try dipping Cheese-Its into some PB.

-- Ants on a log: A favorite from when I was a little tyke; take a long stalk of celery, smother with peanut butter, add raisins, and eat.

-- PB + Nilla Wafers = delicious.

-- PB Sundae! Forget hot fudge or caramel. Throw some warmed up peanut butter on vanilla ice cream.

Or, take a spoon. Dip in peanut butter jar. Bring up heaping pile of PB. Eat. Repeat.

CD's nuts!

In the wake of lawsuits swimming around the ethics of downloading music illegally (think Napster, and the Metallica tiff), I find it odd that artist's would go out of their way to remain exclusive to one distributor -- essentially cutting off access to fans that might be interested in their work.

Exhibit A: AC/DC turns off iTunes for "Black Ice" And, not only are they refusing to offer their new album to millions of adoring fans via charged internet downloads; they've sold rights to distribute the album ONLY AT WAL-MART.

The Rolling Stones and the Police did it with albums and DVDs at Best Buy. Bob Dylan made a CD just for Victoria's Secret shoppers (In all fairness, I think his main motivation was being featured in a TV commercial next to Adriana Lima). Dave Matthews Band and Elton John recorded songs available only at Starbucks.

So if artists (or the powers that be, for said artists) limit the purchasing power of their audience, aren't they taking the risk of losing out on more fans hearing their music? And worse, not getting all their monies?

If you limit access to your music by exclusivity, you risk giving listeners the opportunity to use other means to get it, à la Napster, Kazaa or Torrent.

Some musical talent has looked for other ways to distribute their music. Radiohead started by offering their latest album, "In Rainbows," exclusively on the Internet as a download before the hard copy release date, letting listeners name their own price to download and hear it.

That's not to say I don't have some issues with downloadable music; like not having the physical evidence of it's existence. I want to be able to hold my music. Plus, buying an album supports that band. But, I'm also really good at destroying said CDs, so burned copies work just as well for my car when I don't have an axillary adapter for the iPod.

And more and more, artists profit just as much off downloads.

Bands have also started releasing songs via downloads for video games such as Rock Band and Guitar Hero, or free downloads on iTunes. I'm also a big fan of Pandora, where I've been introduced to a variety of kick ass songs and new bands.

So there might be hope for AC/DC yet. Come November, they're releasing their own version of "Rock Band" for avid players, with songs from their 1991 "Live at Donington" DVD.

But then again, that game too, will only be available at Wal-Mart.

Cube farms

I feel like I escaped from the range, and I got to roam free... but then they caught me again and stuck me back in this cel--, er, cubicle.

I went to San Diego to cover a mass transit show for another magazine at work this week.

Traveling for work can be draining. It's exhausting waking up at 6 AM, running around a trade show, setting up interviews, taking pictures and writing stories. After the show floor closes, ad reps usually want to take out their clients, and request editorial to tag along for dinner and sometimes drinks, causing me to turn in at 11 PM, midnight,1 AM... whenever you can tactfully exit or leave unnoticed. Day after day for a week.

But, there are perks too.

We stayed at the Omni Hotel in DT SD, across the street from Petco Park and the Hard Rock Hotel. I ate seafood every night. I had a $30 Middleton Rare at a real Irish pub. I got a free beer stein. I saw Ed Begley Jr. talk about riding a bus for 45 minutes.

AND, the best part -- I was out of the office.

I like the diversity at shows. You're always moving, always doing something. I sleep for three days straight when I get back, from exhaustion... but it beats the everyday monotony of sitting in an office.

Now I'm back at my desk trying to avoid having my eyes gloss over while I stare at a computer screen, sorting through 300 emails, tuning out obnoxious phone conversations and listening to soft rock radio from MUZAK.

eep... help!

Om nom nom.

While researching the origin of "NOM NOM NOM" and lolcatz today at work, I stumbled upon an interview with Cookie Monster on NPR's show, "On Air."

The host, Elizabeth Blair, asked Cookie Monster an altered Proust questionnaire. (Kind of like those surveys you pass around the office when you're bored to get to know co-workers, but by the third one you receive back, you start skimming... or just delete all together.)

So, I've provided the questions with Cookie Monster's answers, in quotes, as well as my own. Enjoy!

Adaptation from Proust questionnaire

Favorite word?
CM: "COOKIES."
ES: bagel, or pugnacious.

Least favorite word?
CM: "Out of cookies? That won't work...then pusillanimous."
ES: moist, or sinewy.

What noise do you love?
CM: "OM NOM NOM NOM."
ES: being outdoors, anywhere. Distant lawnmowers or traffic.

What noise do you hate?
CM: "Snoring. Me do not like snoring."
ES: Dentist drills.

What is your favorite curse word?
CM: "Me have favorite dirty word, just filthy word: Oscar the Grouch."
ES: Fuck. duh.

Who would you like to see on a new bank note?
CM: "Bert. (why?) Me think he look really nice there, the shape of Bert’s head would fit really nicely in the center of the bill."
ES: Michael Scott. same reason.

What profession, other than your own, would you least like to try?
CM: "Ophthalmology."
ES: Anything in a meat-packing plant. Or surgeon. bleh... blood.

If you were reincarnated as some other plant or animal, what would it be?
CM: "A snufalufagus."
ES: A unicorn. or a bird.

If heaven exists, what would God say at the Pearly Gates?
CM: "Cowabunga."
ES: Nothing... just pounds.


What about you?